On Loving Yourself…..

I remember being frustrated when people talked about the healing power of self-love, because I struggled with that.

I loved my family and friends (or so I thought) and gave love and care to my clients, but when it came to accessing that love and care for myself, it was hard to find. And truthfully, I hardly even reached for it.

But deep down I knew it was missing and I wasn’t sure how to change that. I began to wonder if I knew how to love at all.

I lived this way for a long time. I went through a lot and had reached a certain level of spiritual development, but it took longer to learn to love myself, which was the point.

The wall around my heart and the thickness of my mind and ego blockages were just too much. Those parts of me filled with fear and false ideas (that morphed into many forms of dysfunction) needed the very thing they blocked: LOVE.

It’s a paradox.

In fact, I’m convinced that blockages to self love and forgiveness are at the root of most of our issues.

Fortunately, over time, with regular spiritual practice and high-frequency blessings (lots of spiritual light), I was able to break through the barriers and begin to love myself.

And life changed.

It did not become perfect, but it became more peaceful. Being able to love and forgive myself resolved all kinds of suffering.

The pivot point was when I was able to start trusting life to play out without me trying to predict and control things. I had a habit of running to others when I was triggered or reached a certain level of discomfort to try and find out what was going on, what I could do, if things would be ok, etc. I did not trust myself, God, or life enough. (I am not referring to appropriate professional help or friendly support, but to finding someone to ease my discomfort on a regular basis.)

I knew that this was holding me back; that my soul was asking me to grow myself up and take charge of my life, but I was not ready. I continued to find relief in the words and sentiments of others, even though that relief was temporary and I was postponing my lessons. 

Then one day I took a U-turn. I was tired of the cycle I was in. Instead of going to others, I came back to myself. I decided that it will be me who determines whether I’m ok. I would decide what to do. I would survey the field and contemplate what will be. 

And despite my blockages, I headed straight into the fire. No matter how uncomfortable things got, when I was struggling, fearful, or experiencing any kind of suffering, I went inside.

My agenda was simple: Be present and give love.

Importantly, I continued my spiritual practices and used my toolbox and empowerments to transform blockages and imbalances along the way, but without a doubt, the most significant thing I did was to turn inward and give myself love.

When I was afraid, I gave myself love. When I was angry, I gave myself love. When I felt shame or disappointment, I gave myself love. When I was sick, I gave myself love.

I gave love not only to myself, but to those imbalances and to everyone and everything involved.

Being present to yourself when you’ve uncovered something uncomfortable or even unbearable IS self-love.

And it heals.

It doesn’t mean your troubles will disappear, although a good portion of them really do melt away on the spot. It DOES mean that you have taken the most important step in the transformation process – you have accepted things in the moment by opening your heart and giving love.

I came to realize that most strategies to ease pain and suffering don’t transform it. They avert it, shut it down, or tame it for the moment, but it will come back until you love it. 

YOU. LOVE. IT.

Fear, anger, shame, jealousy, selfishness, greed, illness, all of it.

Accept it. Embrace it. Thank it. Love it.

It is carrying a message for you. Your job is to receive it, not avoid it.

Then…. if it is still there, you can do the work to transform it. 

The number one thing is to head right into the discomfort with your loving presence.

It’s a practice, and it will take time to build the awareness and willingness to do it. And there will be issues that are sticky and persistent, but your job is the same. Just do it.

Once you trust that you will be there for yourself during the most difficult times, you can face anything.

And you will realize the transformative power of love. It opens all the doors.

Finding your way to self-love IS the healing process….

And I’m here for it! 

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I want to acknowledge that for many (most?), developing self-love is a process. Learning about it and intending to do it will not necessarily get you there. For some, it will take coaching, practice, and high-frequency blessings to help remove the blockages enough to be able to implement these suggestions. Message me on my contact page if you’re looking for help and my work resonates with you. <3